'Day of the Daleks' is a classic Doctor Who adventure

Doctor Who: Day of the Daleks (1972)
Starring: Jon Pertwee, Katy Manning, and Nicholas Courtney
Director: Paul Bernard
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

On the eve of an international summit that hopes to stave off a war between China and the United States, time travelers arrive to assassinate the British delegate, claiming he is the cause of the inevitable war, and that it is his fault the evil Daleks enslave humanity in the future. With the TARDIS out of commission, the Doctor uses their primitive time travel technology to go forward in time to stop the Daleks from meddling in the present.

"The Day of the Daleks" is a film that was created by editing together four episodes of the long-running British television series. They combine seamlessly and present an interesting tale of cause and effect in time travel. It's a little more cerebral than most of the original "Doctor Who" storylines, but the pay-off is worth it.

The Daleks--and other time travelers in play in this episode--are almost as sinister as they got during the original run of the series; this is one of those story-lines that makes it clear why the Doctor has the fearsome reputation they like to play on in the revival of the show. Even better, it features Katy Manning as Jo Grant, one of my favorite of the Doctor's Companions.

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'Cowboys and Aliens' is smart and lots of fun!

Cowboys & Aliens (2011)
Starring: Daniel Craig, Olivia Wilde, Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell, and Adam Beach
Director: Jon Favreau
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

When an aliens start terrorizing an isolated area of the American Southwest in the 1870s, outlaws, cattle-ranchers, settlers, and Apache Indians join together with a mysterious woman (Wilde) and an amnesiac who has somehow gotten his hands on one of the alien devices (Craig) to defeat them before they conquer Earth.

"Cowboys & Aliens" is an action-packed genre-bending mix of Western and Sci-Fi as a landscape populated with Western archetypes becomes the setting for an epic adventure tale told through one of the smartest scripts I've witnessed in years.

Although this is a movie that's primarily about aliens blowing the hell out of cowboys and visa-versa, a lot of thought and care went into just about every character that appears on screen that's not just part of the background. Even minor supporting characters get little touches that give them more depth and life than some main characters in recent allegedly character-driven movies--including one of the alien invaders. And the actors all rise to the level of this superior material, with not a single bad performance among them.

The most remarkable character and performance in the picture is given by Harrison Ford. His Colonel Dolarhyde starts out as the stereotypical, psychotically evil ex-Army officer cattle-rancher strong man, but by the time the film is over, he is completely transformed into a sympathetic character who is the most fully developed of all of them.

Daniel Craig and Olivia Wilde are basically, well, Daniel Craig and Olivia Wilde. Both characters that they play are of such a nature that their physical appearances are very important, and both of them are perfectly cast in their roles... Craig for his craggy, weather-worn looks and Wilde for her ability to seem mysterious by just standing around. The fact that neither one of them was the first choice to play those parts is a sign that the Movie Gods were watching out for this film. They're both so perfect I can't imagine this film being as good if they hadn't been in it.

"Cowboys & Indians" deserves to be counted among this years best movies, whether measured by quality or box office receipts. I highly recommend going to see it, even if you're a stingy bastard like me who goes to matinee screenings. This is the kind of movie that Hollywood needs to make more of..

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'Hands of Steel': Terminator for Girls

Hands of Steel (aka "Atomic Cyborg" and "Arms of Steel") (1986)
Starring: Daniel Greene, Janet Agren, George Eastman, Claudio Cassinelli, Luigi Montifori, Andrew Coppola, and John Saxon
Director: Martin Doleman (aka Sergio Martino)
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

In the near future, a powerful industrialist (Saxon) co-opts a U.S. Army super-soldier program for use as his own personal assassination squad. When the perfect cybernetic super-soldier (Greene) breaks his programming and heads home to Arizona in search of his true identity, ruthless assassins are put on his trail to silence him before he thinks to turn himself into the authorities.

Someone I used to watch crummy movies with referred to "Hands of Steel" as "Terminator for Girls."

I thought it was a funny and very accurate description. The cyborg in search of emotional peace and answers to who he is is played by a very handsome male specimen, and the "lonely woman finds true love and redeems a Bad Boy" is a chick fantasy if there ever was one.

Along the way, there's some violence courtesy of said cyborg bad boy and the assassins chasing him, as well as a subplot involving semi-pro arm-wrestlers that makes "Over the Top" look like a masterpiece, with the only positive thing about it being the contests are motivated by chivalry instead of an attempt to earn the love and respect of a 13 year-old boy. I wish I could say there was much hilarity and/or excitement in watching arm-wrestling battles of Man vs. Cyborg, but no; it's even dumber here than it was in the Stallone movie. But at least the arm-wrestling is motivated by chivalry and not an attempt to earn the love and respect of the cyborg's estranged son. (I realize arm wrestling is viewed as a sport in some of the more bizarre places of the world--like caber-tossing, curling, and, no doubt, pig catching--but was it really so popular in the 1980s that it warranted cinematic treatments?)

Aside from the arm wrestling sequences, the fight and chase scenes are fairly well done, considering what is usually found in films at this level. The Battle Royale from which the above screenshot is culled--when the assassins finally catch up with our hero--is one of the movie's high points. It comes as a near-complete surprise, which I may well have spoiled by mentioning it here. Whoops.

At any rate, that fight kicks off the movie's third act which is little more than chases, mayhem, and violence again goons in black suits and motorcycle helmets (that culminates in John Saxon wielding a weapon that shoots colorful cartoon lines--oh, sorry... laser beams). It's the point in the movie where there's "no plot to get in the way of the action," except for when the "redemption of the Bad Boy" is reintroduced and brought to its natural conclusion. Do we get a happy ending where Cyborg and Girl live happily ever after? Well, I'm not going to be that bad with spoilers, but it was the one point where the film had me guessing as to what was going to come next.

This is a fun, cheesy sci-fi flick that should appeal equally to fans of "Warriors of the Wasteland", "Robocop" and "Terminator". While it's squarely in the territory of Bad Movie Night fodder, it does have good action scenes and it features decent performances by Daniel Greene and Janet Agren. I recommend pairing it with Charles Band's "Crash and Burn" for the common themes of killer cyborgs and evil corporations bent on destroying the environment just for money and the hell of it. (In fact, I continue to be astonished that neither Band nor companies like Mill Creek hasn't taken advantage of the ongoing environmentalist hysteria to repackage and/or retitle some of these B-movies with environmentalist side themes in attempts to sponge a few dollars off the True Believers in the cult of man-made global warming. It might be a little late now, though, as the mass-media seems to be moving onto other topics.)





Trivia: This was the final screen appearance of Claudio Cassinelli, an Italian actor whose face is familiar to lovers of trashy cinema. He died in a helicopter crash during the production.

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Xtro: The Complete 'Trilogy'

When is a movie trilogy NOT a movie trilogy? When it's the "Xtro" series!

"Xtro" is a series of sci-fi/horror films that are linked only by the presence of killer creatures from other worlds, the same director, and the word "Xtro" in the titles. There are no story links and the killer aliens are vastly different in each film. One really has to wonder why they chose to make the second two films "sequels" to the original; was the title "Xtro" really such a draw in the early 1990s? I understand that the first film achieved some minor legendary status by being included on the British list of "Video Nasties", but was that really enough to drive viewers to sequels made as long as ten years after the original? Especially given how bad the sequels were?


Xtro (1983)
Starring: Bernice Steger, Phillip Seyer, Maryam D'Abo, and Simon Nash
Director: Harry Bromley Davenport
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Three years after being abducted by aliens, Sam (Seyer) returns a very different man, and he passes his gooey, gory alien powers onto his young son (Nash).


When I first saw this movie as a kid, it freaked the heck out of me. The father coming back and spreading alien corruption throughout the household, the way the son was transformed, and the way he in turn went after the horny au-paire (D'Abo)... even the creepy way he made deadly things appear with his mental powers. It all seemed very, very scary.

I suspect someone watching the film with less jaded eyes than mine could still find "Xtro" scary. At this point, I find still find some of the movie quite disturbing--Sam's method of returning to human form was not something I recalled, and it is definitely creepy; the alien egg-laying scene; and the final scene with the mother... well, up to a point with that one--but in general, I now view this film mostly with a sense of frustration because there are two fundamental things that spoil it for me.

First, there's the fact that there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of rhyme or reason to what the characters do, alien or otherwise. In fact, some of the things that happen are pure "Stupid Character Syndrom"--a character does something just to make sure the plot doesn't come to screeching halt, even if a vaguely intelligent person would take any one of numerous different options.

Second, the director and/or scriptwriter simply doesn't know when enough is enough, and this spoils a number of what otherwise would have been excellent, very scary moments. The movie's ending is the ultimate example of this. I won't go into details, because I would spoil it, but suffice to say, the filmmakers ruin a perfectly good ending. If they had been smart, the film would be about 5-10 seconds shorter.

On the upside, we do get to see D'Abo prance around in absolutely nothing, and the acting is uniformly bland (not quite bad... just flat) so no one stands out as good or bad. Gorehounds might also be impressed with a number of scenes in film. The "Return of Sam" scene is a standout in that sense. "Xtro" also features a well-done electronic score, and those are few and far between.

Nonethless, this is a film that clocks in at the low end of average... although I admit my reaction may partially be due to it not living up to my memories of it. (Maybe I'll get the courage to watch "The Exorcist" again. It's the only movie I walked out because it scared me too badly.)


XTRO II: The Second Encounter (1991)
Starring: Jan-Michael Vincent, Tara Buckman, and Paul Koslo
Director: Harry Bromley Davenport
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Deep underground, American scientists discover how to open a portal to another world...but, surprise-surprise, something goes wrong and murderous critters come across the dimensional void to run amuk. How will the best-and-brightest of the Mad Science Set stop the invasion and save themselves?!

Picture a bad "Aliens" rip-off and cross it with some of the lamest plot elements of a bad "Stargate SG-1" episode, and you have "XTRO: The Second Encounter."


Not only does this "sequel" have absolutely nothing in common with the first movie--the creatures don't even seem to be related--but it's also devoid of good acting, competent direction, and anything that even approaches originality.

For all its faults, the original XTRO at least delivered some genuine weirdness and horror, and it did so with a certain flair. This "sequel" brings absolutely nothing worthwhile to the table. It is a study in complete mediocrity and unoriginality.


Xtro 3: Watch the Skies (1994)
Starring: Sal Landi, Andrew Divoff, Andrea Lauren Hertz, and Robert Kulp
Director: Director: Harry Bromley Davenport
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A group of Marine demolitions experts are sent to a remote, deserted island to disarm explosives left over from WW2. As will happen, something goes wrong and they unleash an alien that has been trapped in a bunker for several decades. Gory mayhem ensues.

I've read in several places that director Harry Bromley Davenport says this is his favorite entry in the "Xtro" series. I can't for the life of me figure out why. As flawed as it was, the original "Xtro" is far more interesting on every level than this one... and far more competently made.

It's actually a shame that "Xtro 3" turned out as a textbook example of what happens when a low-budget film is made with a slip-shod attitude, because there was a lot of potential here.

The setting--a deserted jungle island that once housed interned Japanese and a secret research facility could have been a character unto itself and filled the movie with atmosphere if the cinematography and direction hadn't been as lifeless as an instructional video on how to navigate the Dewey Decimal System. The story of Marines stalked by a murderous alien creature could have been engaging if the script writer had taken time to research actual military protocols and behaviors, had spent some time making the characters interesting and distinct, and bothered to actually bothered to do more than one draft so the dialogue didn't sound like something written for a cheap voice-over of a Japanese sci-fi movie.

And speaking of characters, perhaps if the actors all didn't seem like they had been handed the script pages right before cameras started to roll but instead seemed like they were in character instead of simply delivering the bad lines, the audience could perhaps develop attachment to one or more of them. Although decent acting would not make up for the fact that illogical, plot-dictated behavior governs every action they take, because no one seems to have bothered to think scenes through.

Similarly, if someone had paid attention to costuming and continuity on the production, maybe generous-minded or entertainment-starved viewers would be able to suspend disbelief and engage with the film, despite the incompetent direction and script. However, the appearing and disappearing gear on characters and less effort put into costuming than you might put into getting dressed for lounging around the house on a Saturday when your friends are all out of town, make that impossible.

Finally, although the alien has possibilities to rival the creepy creature of the original "Xtro," it ends up more laughable than scary due to badly executed special effects and the aforementioned illogical, plot-dictated character behavior. Is there anyone reading this who has seen this film who didn't think like I did: "Why run when you can just kick it really hard?"

"Xtro 3" continues the decline of this series into crapitude. The only thing that keeps it from sinking to a Two Rating (and thus earning a place over at Movies You Should [Die Before You] See) is the alien's back story. It's a cool idea... and it's too bad that it is wasted in a movie like this one. (I won't give it away here, because it is one of the few decent story elements in the film.)

If your looking for something to round out a Bad Movie Night line-up, "Xtro 3: Watch the Skies" might be what you're looking for. You might, however, be better off actually watching the skies and identifying shapes in the clouds.







Trivia: Harry Bromley Davenport stated in a 2010 interview that "Xtro 4" was in the works, which he confirmed in March 2011, in this interview. It remains to be seen if he continues to trend of making each installment in the series worse than the one that went before. It's already a given that this film will have no connection to the others, save for the word "Xtro". (And the fact that a fourth Xtro film is in production puts a lie to the claim that this post covers the complete series/trilogy. Although that may be kind of fitting, given how this "series" isn't one.

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John Carter's Eternal Love

One of sci-fi/fantasy's great icons is Edgar Rice Burroughs' John Carter of Mars, an "eternal warrior"-type character who finds himself leading two lives, teleporting back and forth between the post-Civil War American West and the other in ancient times on the savage, alien world of Mars (or "Barsoom" as the natives call it).

By Frank Frazetta

The Martian adventures of John Carter were published in 11 novels, with the first in the series being "A Princess of Mars". In in, Carter meets the love of his life (or lives, rather), and she is a presence to a greater or lesser degree in all the books that follow. Burroughs describes her thusly when Carter first lays eyes on her:

And the sight which met my eyes was that of a slender, girlish figure, similar in every detail to the earthly women of my past life... Her face was oval and beautiful in the extreme, her every feature was finely chiseled and exquisite, her eyes large and lustrous and her head surmounted by a mass of coal black, waving hair, caught loosely into a strange yet becoming coiffure. Her skin was of a light reddish copper color, against which the crimson glow of her cheeks and the ruby of her beautifully molded lips shone with a strangely enhancing effect.

She was as destitute of clothes as the green Martians who accompanied her; indeed, save for her highly wrought ornaments she was entirely naked, nor could any apparel have enhanced the beauty of her perfect and symmetrical figure.

By Adam Hughes

It perhaps goes without saying given that description that Dejah Thoris has been a favorite subject of fantasy illustrators since her debut in 1917. Over at Shades of Gray, I spotlight some of the best black-and-white illustrations of Dejah Thoris and other Martian Princesses I've come across during my wanderings through the web. Click on the links below to see what John Carter saw, as interpreted by some of fantasy and comicdom's best artists.

Princesses of Mars, Part One

Princesses of Mars, Part Two

Princesses of Mars, Part Three

Princesses of Mars, Part Four

Princesses of Mars, Part Five

Princesses of Mars, Part Six

Princesses of Mars, Part Seven

(Parts Eight through Ten Coming Soon)

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Doctor Who checks out the Pyramids of Mars

Doctor Who: The Pyramids of Mars (1975)
Starring: Tom Baker and Elisabeth Sladen
Director: Paddy Russel
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When the Doctor, an alien time-traveler (Baker), and his human companion Sarah-Jane Smith (Sladen) are drawn to the year 1911 by a strange distruption, they discover that a destructive alien who inspired the legends of Seth, the Egyptian god of death, is plotting an escape from his enternal prison... and that he'll destroy Earth in all future timelines if he escapes!

"The Pyramids of Mars" consists of several half-hour episodes of the long-running "Doctor Who" sci-fi/fantasy TV series that have been edited together seamlessly to form a 90-minute movie (well, almost; there's one weird jump-cut that illustrates where one of the original cliffhanger-endings had been). The pace is faster than many of the old "Doctor Who" stories, the acting by the supporting cast somewhat better... and the storyline is one that should entertain horror and fantasy fans alike.

This storyline is also one of those that clearly establishes why the Doctor was viewed as a "harbinger of doom" by internet conspiracy theorists in the first episode of the revived TV series... the only people who walk away alive from this adventure are the Doctor and Sarah-Jane.

This tale is definately one of the highlights of the original "Doctor Who" series.

(It is also interesting for some to see how creators other than those responsible for the "Stargate" movies and series spin tales with Egyptian mythology and the notion of super-aliens being mistaken for gods.)

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The outcome of the reactor meltdown in Japan

(Artist's Conception)

You can donate to the Red Cross' relief effort here.

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'Quatermass and the Pit' is worth delving into

Quatermass and the Pit (1967)
Starring: Andrew Keir, James Donald, Barbara Shelley, and Julian Glover
Director: Roy Ward Baker
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

While building an extension to the London subway, workers uncover what appears to be an ancient caveman burial site. However, as archaeologist Matthew Roney (Donald) and his assistant Barbara (Shelley) excavate the site, it quickly becomes apparent that something far more mysterious and deadly has been uncovered. The government sends in the military, led by the closed-minded Col. Breen (Glover) and rocketry expert Bernard Quatermass (Keir) in the hopes of determining exactly what this ancient threat is and stop it before all of London is destroyed.

"Quatermass and the Pit" is the best theatrical movie featuring rebel scientist Bernard Quatermass. It's a fabulous sci-fi flick--perhaps even one of the best movies that Hammer Films ever made--that's got excellent pacing, nicely done sets, and top-notch acting. The creature effects (I hesitate to even call them that) are quite weak, even by the standards when the movie was made, but everything else in the film is so good that I can overlook that part of it.

Andrew Keir is an excellent Quatermass, perhaps the best actor to ever play the role. He comes across as a well-polished intellectual who very much uses his mind as a weapon rather than his fists, and is perfect in portraying the "You must listen to me! The world is coming to an end! No, I am not mad! Listen to me!" sort of frustrations that Quatermass is constantly confronted with. The other stars--Donald, Shelley, and Glover--are also great in their roles. In fact, Glover is so great in his part that the viewer is both happy and sad to see Col. Breen meet his fate.

If you like intelligent sci-fi movies, "Quatermass and the Pit" is a must-see. It is one of the truly great sci-thrillers.

(For more reviews of great classics from Hammer Films, visit companion blogs Terror Titans and Shades of Gray.)

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'The Time Monster' is a 'Doctor Who' classic

Doctor Who: The Time Monster (1972)
Starring: Jon Pertwee, Katy Manning, Roger Delgado, and Ingrid Pitt
Director: Robert Sloman
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

The time-traveling alien known as the Doctor (Pertwee) and UNIT operative Jo Grant (Manning) find themselves squaring off against their old nemesis, the Master (Delgado). The Master's latest scheme for domination of all of time and space involves harnessing the might of Chronos, the creature that brought low the mighty land of Atlantis.

"The Time Monster" is a film that originally aired as 30-minute segments as part of the long-running and very popular BBC sci-fi/fantasy television series "Doctor Who". It is one of my all-time favorite storylines from the show, as it features an equal blend of sci-fi, fantasy, social commentary, and nifty actions with plenty of cool story twists. It's fun the way the story moves easily from the 1970s Earth setting with the Master conducting mad science experiments with interdimensional physics, to the purely sci-fi environment of time-travel machines and the Doctor and Master matching wits and testing each other's nerve, and to a pure fantasy environment with an evil and duplicitous Atlantean queen (played by the sexy Ingrid Pitt) who would have been perfectly at home in one of those Italian Hercules movies. The film is further enhanced by multi-faceted minor villains and by the way the personalities of the Master and the Doctor are compared and contrasted as the story unfolds.

This is a classic "Doctor Who" storyline that has stood up well to the passage of time. The effects can't hold a candle to what we've gotten with the revival of the series in recent years, and the acting might be a little hokey at times, but the storyline and the characterization of the Doctor and the Master fit right in with the "Drums of War" story line from a few seasons back. (In fact, watching "The Time Monster" before watching "The Drums of War" and "The Last Timelord" will make those modern episodes feel all the more impactful, because the love/hate relationship of the Doctor and the Master is so well defined in this film... and because Roger Delgado plays a GREAT Master.)

"Doctor Who: The Time Monster" is worth seeking out by fans of both the new and classic series.

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'Quark' is a show that should stay lost in space

Quark: The Complete Series (1977)
Starring: Richard Benjamin, Timothy Thomerson, Richard Kelton, Patricia Barnstable, Cyb Barnstable, Conrad Janis, Bobby Porter, Alan Caillou and Ross Martin
Director: Hy Averback
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Some televisions shows die a premature death, undeservedly cancelled because for whatever reason there was no audience for the show. The latest of these is "My Own Worst Enemy", but there are dozens upon dozens of quality shows that died early in the 50-year-plus history of network televison in the U.S.

"Quark", a shortlived 1977 sci-fi comedy show, is not one of these.

Every episode of "Quark", including the pilot--eight in total--is available on DVD. It's a nice-looking package, and it was a decent looking show. The sets were nice, the costumes were nice... the primary target of "Star Trek" was evident throughout--but the scripts simply weren't funny.

The set-up was good--the show followed the adventures of the unfortunate Adam Quark and his bizarre crew of misfits as they traveled the galaxy on a space-faring garbage scow, the bravely collect trash where no-one had collected trash before; the characters had the potential of being sufficiently weird--such as Science Officer Ficus, an overly logical humanoid plant played by Richard Kelton; the all-in-one "transmute" who keeps switching between his/her male and female halves played by Tim Thomerson; the ship's navigator and her clone, played by twins Patricia and Cyb Barnstable; the heroic, dedicated and perpetually unlucky Commander Quark himelf, played by Richard Benjamin--but neither the set-up nor the potential of the characters was never fully realized because of the bad writing.

Hardcore sci-fi fans may find a chuckle or two early on, but it isn't until the last three episodes that anything that a general audience will find remotely funny starts to happen. (The one exception is the "Star Wars" spoof in the second episode, "May the Source Be With You". The whiney superweapon in that episode was pretty good.)

The best part of the show is the interplay between Richard Benjamin and Richard Kelton. There's a goofy Kirk/Spock vibe in the realitionship between these two characters, the actors have a good sense of the comedic, and it helps make even the lamest episodes watchable. But then we've got Tim Thomerson who is so bad that it's hard to imagine that this is the same guy who will go onto be so hilarious in "Trancers" and "Dollman"... of course, it's not entirely Thomerson's fault. The material he's working with is truly awful. The rest of the cast do little more than take up space, and they are neither good enough nor bad enough to really warrant any particular attention.

Don't believe the hype about "Quark"--I did, and I wish I hadn't--and don't rely on fond memories you may have of catching part of an episode as a young kid. This is NOT a show that will stand up to your memory of it.

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Fritz Lang's 'Metropolis' on TMC tonight!

About once a year, I have a moment when I wonder if my long-standing choice of not having cable TV is in my best interest. For 2010, that moment is now.

On Sunday, November 7 at 8pm (tonight!), Turner Classic Movies is playing the television premiere of the newly restored version of "Metropolis" starring Brigitte Helm. The version being aired will feature 24 minutes that reportedly haven't been seen by the public in half a century or more.

"Metropolis" is the coolest silent sci-fi flick of them all, and, without question, one of the coolest sci-fi flicks ever. It's the story of a futuristic society threatened with destruction when a pair of young idealists attempt to bring equality and justice to its workers... and the city's leader tries to prevent change through some shocking means. If you're not like me, and you have cable television, I recommend watching it. Meanwhile, here are some pictures to whet your appetite.

For my take on some slient movies, click here to visit Shades of Gray.

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In observance of Guy Fawkes Night...

V for Vendetta (2006)
Starring: Natalie Portman, Hugo Weaving, Stephen Rea, and John Hurt
Director: James McTeigue
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

In the chaotic world of the near future, Great Britain is ruled by a facist government led by the charismatic Adam Sutler (Hurt). Sutler's government controls everything from top to bottom--the schools, all media outlets, the police, everything--but when a radical, flamboyant terrorist known only as "V" (Weaving) starts a one-man war against the government, Sutler senses the danger and unleashes the might of the government against him. But "V" outsmarts the authorities at every turn, including the loyal civil servant Chief Inspector Finch (Rea). But as Finch investigates "V", he uncovers such dire implications about his government that he finds himself wondering if "V" may not be in the right.

When this film was first released, I saw many people refer to it as an instant classic. I didn't believe that to be the case then--even setting aside the fundamental stupidity of the statement--and I believe it even less now. The movie adaptation has the same problem the graphic novel upon which it is based had... too much of both are ham-fisted screeds against political trends of the moment (the graphic novel railed in a nearly hysterical fashion against British politics of the 1980s, and the movie goes out of its way to take juvenile and simpleminded jabs at American politics of the early 2000s) with too little timeless commentaries on the issues of government vs. personal freedoms and what is right and wrong in politics and society.

(That said, the world of the movie does feel as if it's a tiny bit closer now, at least as far as the absolutely worthless media goes, especially here in the United States. Never have so many journalists been so eager to do the bidding of the politicians.)

Having recently "V for Vendetta", though, I remain confused about why Alan Moore (the writer of the graphic novel) hated it so much. The film captured the essense of the original book just fine. Is it because the filmmakers fleshed out the character of Evey (Portman) with a somewhat overly melodramatic backstory? Is it because the movie was so faithful to the core of the graphic novel that they turned out an adaptation as dated as the original book is, thus showing that the Emperor wasn't wearing much in the way clothing? (Don't get me wrong... "V for Vendetta" is well-written, and I enjoyed reading it, but it's no different than the "Captain Marvel Jr." comics of the 1940s as far as the relevance it's going to have to future readers. Heck, it might even have less, because David Lloyd is no Mac Raboy.)

At any rate, the film features some nice performances--Portman and Rea are particularly excellent in their parts--and its few action scenes are well done as well. Unfortunately, the film exposes a difficulty in translating a comic book character to the screen... what looks cool on a printed page can come across as lifeless or silly when its set in motion. This is the case with "V", the vengeful terrorist at the center of the story. The Guy Fawkes mask and pilgrim get-up was spooky in the comic, but it borders on goofy here.

This isn't a bad film, but it's going to be embarrasingly dated in just a few years. (Come to think of it, the movie will be even more dated than the graphic novel because it's even more ham-fisted and simpleminded in its criticism of increasingly distant blip in history.)

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'Cyber Ninja' has it all except the kitchen sink

Cyber Ninja (1988)
Starring: Hanbei Kawai, Hiroki Ida, Shôhei Yamamoto, Eri Morishita, Makoto Yokoyama, and Masaaki Emori
Director: Keita Amemiya
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

In the far future, the Suwabeh Clan is locked in a final desperate battle against a society of techno-demons who are turning human warriors into cybernetic ninjas while preparing for when the Stars Are Right to unleash their demon god upon the world. At the eleventh hour, they receive surprise assistance from one of the cyber ninjas, who is on a quest to reunite his soul with his body.

"Cyber Ninja" is probably some sort of mile stone in cross-genre craziness. The film covers the fantasy aspect with sorcery and echoes of ancient Japan feudal culture with its princesses, house retainers, ninja, ronin, and samurai, and it hits the sci-fi genre with giant battle-mechs--that mirror the fantasy aspect by looking like pagodas--and armies of robot ninja vs. cybernetically enhanced samurai, and it brings in horror with some fairly dastardly demons and the uber-demon they are about to summon to ravish the world.

Unfortunately, it's not an achievement in story-telling, and all those various elements just sort of swirl around and bump into each other in a chaotic mess that makes very little sense. However, I think this is one of those movies that 10 year old boys will get a huge kick out of. They will be so enamoured with the robot ninjas, waving swords and giant battle-mechs they won't notice the complete lack of logic to much of the activities by both the good guys and the bad guys, nor will they notice that the battle-mechs look more like a row of outhouses than the mechanized castles they're supposed to be. Kids might not even notice how absolutely rediculous some of the voice acting in the dubbed version is. (The Dark Bishop would have been laughed out of Evil College with a voice like that.)

Trivia: Director/co-writer Keita Amemiya created several genre-mixing movies and anime series during the 1980s and 1990s, the most famous of them being the "Zeram" movies and cartoons. He was also the main creative force behind the sci-fi/fantasy film hybrid "Moon Over Tao".

The deadliest of blogathons....

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Aliens and Sorcerers and Samurai--oh my!

Moon Over Tao--Makaraga (1997)
Starring: Yuko Moriyama, Toshiyuki Nagashima, Hiroshi Abe, Taka Aki Enoki, and Sayaka Yoshino.
Director: Keita Amemiya
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

"Moon over Tao--Makaraga" has everything... a spell-casting monk, a hard-bitten samurai, and a plucky roguish girl sidekick on a quest to stop an evil sorcerer and uncover the secret behind a magical sword; a pair of superpowered, sexy alien women on a quest to retrieve a weapon forged by their hyper-advanced culture before the evil sorcerer uses it; and a giant rampaging monster that threatens to destroy Earth if our heroes can't stop it.

I'm not much for having bizarre monsters like the one here in live-action movies, but everything else in the flick is perfect! The script is well-crafted, featuring excellent pacing, interesting characters, and witty dialogue. The fight scenes are equally well-staged. This film also does quite well in the special effects department... which is where many Asian films fall down when compared to American standards. Heck, even that goofy giant monster is tolerable because of the well-done costuming and animation work. The cinematography was also well above average for what I have come to expect from this kind of movie. Last, but far, far from least, "Moon over Tao" sports an excellent cast of actors. Everyone gives top calibre performances, even the woman playing the aliens... a remarkable feat since she hardly shows any emotion. She radiates presence, though.

"Moon over Tao--Makaraga" is a fine merging of several Japanese film genres, and it is well worth a look. It features *some* graphic violence, just enough to earn it an R rating--I don't recall anything worse than what I've seen in "slasher flicks"--so it's probably not appropriate for kids.

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Don Knotts plays a real space case

The Reluctant Astronaut (1967)
Starring: Don Knotts, Leslie Nielsen, Arthur O'Connell, Jesse White, and Joan Freeman
Director: Edward Montagne
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A small-town carnival kiddy-ride operator (Knotts) is thrust into local fame when his pushy father (O'Connell) submits an application on his behalf to NASA... and the application is accepted.

This film is something of a nerd fantasy. Knotts plays a kindhearted loser of limited talent and ambition (but with plenty of dreams) for whom everything works out in the end. There really isn't much else to this movie, other than the fact that it features a decent cast that all get their individual funny moments.

While I remained mildly entertained throughout the film, I think this is a movie that time has left behind; I suspect it would have seemed a lot funnier in 1967, at the height of space-program mania. (The film is an interesting historical artifact in another way: Leslie Nielsen is featured here as a sqaure-jawed, handsome straight man. It's often forgotten that his career took a hard turn into comedy in the mid-Seventies, and that he actually started out as a dramatic actor.)

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One of the greatest anime movies ever?

Lum - Urusei Yatsura 2: Beautiful Dreamer (1984)
Director: Mamoru Oshii
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

I just recently rewatched one of my all-time favorite Japanese cartoons for the first time in over five years. It was the second theatrical release based on Rumiko Takahasi's first hit comic book series, "Lum--Urusei Yatsura" (UY means "Obnoxious Aliens" in Japanese).

"Beautiful Dreamer" is every bit as good as I remember it. I don't necessarily recommend it to those unfamiliar with the cast of the "Lum" comic books, but I nonetheless place it among my all-time favourite animated features.

In this curious film, Lum, Shinobi, Ataru, and the rest of the central cast of the series find themselves the only beings left in perhaps the entire world. They later realize that the entire world has been reduced to a 2 km area around Ataru's house... and that's when things start to get really strange.


This film grabbed my attention immediately. The plot seemed to be something well beyond the standard 'Lum' wacky comedy that I'm used to from the graphic novels... there was a mystery here, and from the outset I was interested in seeing how it would be resolved. As the mystery deepend, the film actually started to get rather creepy--something I'd never thought possible for this particuarly property--and the mix of humour and mild horror was extremely effective. Even as the mystery reached its resolution, the creepiness deepened and for a time I wondered if it was going to be possible for the filmmakers to restore the light-hearted Lum-verse to its previous state.

They managed to do just that, and with a very ... and with a highly satisfying ending. What's even more remarkable, over the course of 'Beautiful Dreamer,' they breathed more life into Lum and Ataru than I thought could be possible; they've always been rather one dimensional characters to me--not it a bad way, but that's all they needed to be. But in 'Beautiful Dreamer,' we are shown another facet of Ataru, and Lum's character deepens as well.





Click here to read reviews of graphic novels by Rumiko Takahashi at the Shades of Gray blog.

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Tin foil hats DO work against mind control!

They Came From Beyond Space (1981)
Starring: Robert Hutton, Jennifer Jayne, and Michael Gough
Director: Freddie Francis
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A group of scientists researching a strange group of meteors fall prey to alien mind-control. They swiftly start spreading their domination to others, as well as start spreading a deadly plague. When they try to dominate astrophysicist Dr. Curtis Temple (Hutton), the metal plate in his head protects him. He launches a one-man battle to figure out what the aliens are up to, and how they can be stopped.


"They Came From Beyond Space" is a sci-fi movie in the "invisible invasion" mode that's got an okay cast and all the components of a great sci-fi thriller, but the stew never quite reaches a boil. The best moments of the film are the unintentional comedic moments, such as when Dr. Temple and a colleague literally create tin-foil hats for protection from the alien mind control.

And aside from unintentional comedy, there's nothing else here worth commenting on. It's about as bland as a movie can be while still offering a little entertainment.

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'Dream of a Warrior' is a confused mess

Dream of a Warrior (2002)
Starring: Leon Lai, Park Eun-Hye, and Lee Na-Young
Director: Park Hee-Joon
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Dean, a Soul police detective (Lai) starts having strange dreams of a beautiful girl being menaced by monsters (Eun-Hye). He is soon assigned by his superiors to help Dr. Jang, a researcher working on time travel experiments. Dean learns that the girl of his dreams is the doctor's daughter, who he, in true mad scientist fashion, used as the test subject in one of his experiments and ended up stranding her in a distant time and place. Dean is the only one who can save her, and soon he too is sent long ago and far, far away, to the world of Dillmoon where the last outpost of civilization is being menaced by evil madmen who wield second-rate computer graphics as their primary weapons!


"Dream of a Warrior" is a fantasy movie that wants to be a sci-fi film. Or maybe it's a sci-fi movie that wants to be a fantasy film. Whatever it is, it's a hodge-podge of ideas that don't mesh very well. Most of the film consists of the story of the final days of Dillmoon and the last incarnations of Lai and Eun-Park as the doomed lovers, Dean and Princess Rose.

In fact, the whole time travel concept is such a small part of what goes on that it's almost extraneous. However, add to the mix a group of cultists that appear early in the film who warn about dire consequences when Jang's experiment links our world to Dillmoon (who then never reappear, and whose predicted dire consequences never pay off), as well as the fact that Dean isn't the only character in the movie that has a counterpart on Dillmoon, and the time travel aspect goes from a ill-fitting add-on to a sword-and-sorcery fantasy film to a convoluted and ill-conceived twist.

There's an average time-travel/eternal-warrior love story that's been smashed together with an average sword-and-sorcery story in "Dream of a Warrior", but the combined total is something that's less than worthwhile. Maybe the 100-minute version that was released in Hong Kong and Korea makes more sense, but the 87-minute international version (the one I viewed) was entertaining but severely lacking in any decent pay-offs from its disparate elements.

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The film of choice for a drug intervention

Zardoz (1974)
Starring: Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling, Sarah Kestleton and John Alderton
Director: John Boorman
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

In the distant future,the intellectually curious (yet violent) barbarian Zed (Connery) hides in the floating head of his tribe's god Zardoz and ends up being brought to a Utopian land of immortals who have developed telepathy but lost all passion for life. Here, he may become their salvation or their destruction... or perhaps even both.


If you have a friend or family member you want to convince to stop drinking or using drugs, do this:

1. Get a copy of Zardoz.

2. Get a copy of "The Russia House" or "Hunt for Red October" or "Goldfinger", whichever Sean Connory-starring film they are most likely to want to watch.

3. Put the copy of "Zardoz" in the other movie's box.

4. Next time the friend or family member is blitzed, sit down to watch the movie with them. Show them the box when they ask "what is this shit?" or "why is James Bond wearing pirate boots and a diaper?" or "why is that giant floating head vomiting guns and shouting about penises?" or "why are those old people doing ballroom dancing?" or "why is James Bond pulling Clay Aiken in a rickshaw while wearing nothing but red man-panties?" and say you don't know what they're talking about and make comments as if you're watching the movie the box belongs to.


5. When they stumble off or pass out, switch "Zardoz" for the real movie. Return "Zardoz" to the rental place or destroy it.

6. When your momentarily sober friend or loved one next asks about that weird movie they half-remember from the night before, insist that it doesn't exist. Put the movie that belongs in case in the player and show them what they watched.

7. The fact that they hallucinated something as unbelievably strange as "Zardoz" will scare them straight right then and there. They will be BEGGING you to enroll them in a detox program and they will never touch drugs or booze ever again. Guaranteed.


"Zardoz" is a beautifully filmed sci-fi movie that is so desperate to offer intellectually deep social commentary that it ends up coming across like a boorish grad student at a party trying to convince you of how smart he is. There are some interesting points raised about human nature and civilization, but they are presented so heavy-handedly and in such a trippy environment that you won't really be able to pay attention to them; you'll be too busy wondering how ANYONE thought this movie was a good idea, and, more specifically, how ANYONE thought featuring Sean Connery in pirate boots and a diaper was a good idea (including Sean Connery... he must have been really desperate for a paycheck in those initial post-Bond years).

Aside from curing drug addicts and alcoholics, "Zardoz" might bring a dose of startling weirdness to a Bad Movie Nite. It's not a very good movie, but there's enough here to make it worth watching if you're in the right frame of mind. It's a botched sci-fi film that exists at the crossroads between "Brave New World" and "Road Warrior" and "2001" and "Slipstream", but that crossroads is also home to a pseudo-intellectual swamp haunted by giant floating heads and patrolled by a gun-toting Sean Connery in a red diaper!

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'Chiller': When B-movies go bad

Chiller (1985)
Starring: Michael Beck, Beatrice Straight, Paul Sorvino, and Jill Shoelen
Director: Wes Craven
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Young corporate mogul Miles Creighton (Beck) was placed in cryogenic suspension until the day medical science could save him from an organ transplant that failed. Ten years later, he is revived and healed. However, there is something different about him: He is vicious, coldhearted... and homicidal!


"Chiller" is a classic example of a bad B-movie... we have a mildly interesting idea that's ground to death with pedestrian dialogue, so-so acting, and a story that's entirely too slow moving. Worse, the scares in "Chiller" are few and far between. This is definitely one of the worst movies Wes Craven has made. (He DID startle me at the end, but everything up to that point was either yawn-worthy or eye-rolling worthy.)

"Chiller" is worth seeing if you see it on TV late at night and every other channel is running info-mercials, or if you're the world's biggest Paul Sorvino fan (who is featured as the reverend who concludes that Miles may have come back to life, but his (duh-duhn-duuuhhn!) SOUL stayed in the afterlife), but otherwise it's best to leave it cooling on the shelf.





Click here to read a special post at Terror Titans that covers all of Wes Craven's famous and successful "Scream" movies.

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