Is that a special kind of sheep dog?

Film star denies lamb tale

A Japanese film star has denied reports she was conned into buying a lamb disguised as a poodle.


Maiko Kawakami has dismissed stories she was the victim of a scam by tricksters importing lambs from Australia and Britain to sell as poodles to rich Japanese women.

It was widely reported that the scam came to light after Kawakami complained on a television talk show that her new poodle refused to bark or eat dog food.

"Ms Kawakami is very surprised by how much this has spread overseas. She was just recounting on television how she had heard of such a story while she was at a nail salon," a spokeswoman for her talent agency said.

"Ms Kawakami does not even own a poodle."

Police in Sapporo, where the fraudulent company was reportedly based, also denied the tale.

"We have had inquiries from so many media - CNN, CBS among others - and all I can say is that that article is completely made up," a spokesman said.

(From ananova.com)

Yes, Ms. Kawakami. We understand you don't own a poodle.

But do you own a lamb?



(BTW, the "media morons" referred to in the tag for this article are not Maiko Kawakami or her spokespeople, but rather the anonymous reporter who wrote this article,and all the other journalists who apparently didn't notice that even the original writer didn't fully believe the shaggy sheep tale he was relating, because even he states that "this has a whiff of the 'urban myth' about it."

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Political Double Feature:'Welcome to Mooseport' and 'Silver City'

Here are reviews of two politically themed comedies from 2004, one of which was dated the day it was released and will take a well-deserved place on the scrapheap of cinematic history even before the end of George Bush's term in office.


Welcome to Mooseport (2004)
Starring: Ray Romano and Gene Hackman
Director: Donald Petrie
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When a just-out-of-office US president (Hackman) moves to the small town of Mooseport to get away from his ongoing, bitter divorce, he is cajoled by both the city leaders and his publicists to run for election as mayor. However, the local plumber and hardware store owner (Romano) also decides to run for the office. What follows is a contest of political saavy and trickery vs. small-town heart and honesty.


There is nothing really surprising in "Welcome to Mooseport". It is a pleasant little film, with mild laughs, a fine cast of actors used well, and some nice messages about taking risks for the right reasons and not becoming so goal-focused or complacent that you don't take notice of the truly important things in life.

Even more pleasing, "Welcome to Mooseport" is one of the few comedies with a political theme that I've seen in recent years that isn't a ham-fisted, badly executed screed against the George Bush administration. In fact, if anything, Hackman's president is based on Bill Clinton, as he is a womanizer whose wife is divorcing him and fleecing him for all she can get due to his many extra-marital dalliances. (Although I'm drawing a comparison with Clinton, the set-up is general enough that the film might be amusing to audiences even a few years down the road.)


Silver City (2004)
Starring: Danny Huston, Chris Cooper, Richard Dreyfuss, Maria Bello, Daryl Hannah, and Billy Zane
Director: John Sayles
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A press opportunity and campaign commercial shoot for dimwitted gubernatorial candidate Dickie Pilager (Cooper) is disrupted when a dead body is discovered. Take-no-prisoners campaign manager Chuck Raven (Dreyfuss) hires burned-out-reporter turned private detective Danny O'Brien (Huston) to investigage possible links between the Pilager family and the corpse so he can institute damage control if he needs to. O'Brien uncovers far more than anyone had expected, and he drawn into a high-stakes political conspiracy involving billion dollar real estate development deals and illegal alien smuggling.


That summary of "Silver City" maikes it sound far more interesting than it is. This 2004 movie is so heavy-handed in its political messages (Republicans/Conservaitves ALL bad and evil and corrupt and stupid, Democrats/Liberals ALL good and pure and civic-minded and brilliant); the satire not even approaching clever or insightful, but merely recycled George Bush jokes that were old in 2001; and the mystery that Danny O'Brien investigates is drab and ultimately of a "so what"? variety. (But, it mostly becomes that due to the unrelenting, hackneyed political screeds that passes for the script and plot in this piece of junk.)

Who knew that so many talented actors could be so blinded by their politics so as to not recognize this film for a piece of garbage when they read the script?

This could have been a decent political thriller with satirical overtones if it hadn't been helmed by what I can only assume are a bunch of frothing fanatics. "Silver City" is the political equivilant of a third-rate drama airing late at night that Christian cable channel--if you're a True Believer, you'll think it's thrilling and funny. If you're even the least bit able to see that politics and politicians is far from a black and white game, and that no one rises to the top by being an idiot, and that no one is pure evil or pure sweetness and light, you will find this film to be a total waste of your time.

The only positive thing I can say about "Silver City" is that the cast all turn in excellent performances. I particuarly enjoyed Danny Huston, Billy Zane, and Daryl Hannah. I might even have liked Chris Cooper if his character had been just a tad more original and better written... but he did what he could with the unfunny crap he was working with.

I think the many glowing and fawning reviews this movie--which stinks worse than the corpse that ruins Dickie Pilager's film shoot--can be used as evidence for right-wingers who like to cry about liberal media bias. Only someone who is so severely brainwashed they're a mind-numbed robot could give this film anything approximating a positive review.

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Crybabies and PC fascists rule the media world!

In Europe, Bryan Ferry has apologized for making a true statement... that the Hitler's Nazis were experts at propaganda and making some great looking movies. Ferry said in an interview: "My God, the Nazis knew how to put themselves in the limelight and present themselves. Leni Riefenstahl's movies and Albert Speer's buildings and the mass parades and the flags - just amazing. Really beautiful."

Ferry did not praise Nazis or Nazism. He made a factually true statement, yet crybabies looking for reasons to be offended took offense, and he has had to apologize for speaking the truth.

In tne United States, obnoxious talkshow host Don Imus has been fired and censored after calling a university basketball team a bunch of "nappy-headed hoes." The hunt for his head was led by race hustler extra-ordinaire Jesse Jackson (who once referred to NYC as "hymie-town"), and Imus was canned for offending crybabies looking to be offended. He even apologized for his remarks--which may or may not be true; I don't know if the basketball team is nappy-headed OR a bunch of hoes--and he was still fired.

I do know that the few times I've listened to Imus, I've found it to be a big waste of my time. I don't understand why he has a following, but I am annoyed by the swift caving that his employers did in firing him.

Businesses and inviduals really need to stop bending over and taking it up the ass from people who are just looking for excuses to be offended, particularly when those leading the chorus of the offended are hypocrites like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.

There's also the fact that that these "victims" of comments like those made by Ferry and Imus have the emotional maturity of retarded four year olds. One of the alleged "nappy-haired hoes" was quoted by the AP as claiming she was scarred for life by Imus's comments. Whoever this pathetic woman-child is, she needs to grow up. And she needs to remember the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."

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Brits upset about 'South Park' episode

I wonder how many of these offended crybabies were praising "Death of President" as a masterpiece and the height of cleverness? (In case you don't know, "Death of a President" was sqeezed from between the hairy buttcheeks of a British filmmaker.)

At least the "South Park" episode was entertaining, which can't be said about "Death of a President".

"South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, having already offended almost everyone in America, have exported their outrageousness overseas, where the British are expressing indignation over a recent episode of the animated series depicting the Queen committing suicide.

Although the show has not yet been broadcast in the U.K., word of the American broadcast last week has teed off British bloggers.

"Tasteless, no other way to describe that show. ... It's such trash," wrote one.

Another described it as "cruel humor."

A spokesperson for Comedy Central, which produced the show, told the London daily Mirror, "South Park has never shied away from offending people in the name of comedy. Nobody is off-limits."

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'Any Gun Can Play' isn't worth the time

Any Gun Can Play (aka "River of Blood" and "For a Few Bullets More") (1967)
Starring: Edd Byrnes, George Hilton, Gilbert Roland, Ivano Staccioli, and Kareen O'Hara
Director: Enzo G. Castellari
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A banker (Byrnes), a bountyhunter (Hilton), and a bandit (Roland) race each other to recover a stolen gold shipment that was hidden by a Mexican cutthroat who was subsequently killed by the US Army.


"Any Gun Can Play" is a singularly uneven and uninventive western. It starts out attempting to be a dramatic western along the lines of "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" but it turns into a comedy along the lines of "My Name is Nobody" at about the halfway mark, but it is vastly inferior to both of those other movies. The first half of this film is so-so, but once it tries to become a Hill/Spencer-style western spoof, it becomes an unfunny mess with dull fights, dumb gags, and scenes that drag on and on because the director seemingly lost all ability to know how end a scene.

The best part of the is the performance by Gibert Roland, who plays a Mexican bandit leader who masterminds the goldheist and later finds himself doublecrossed every time he turns around. He the only actor who rises above mediocrity of everything around him.

Everything about this movie is unoriginal, substandard and lackluster. It's not so bad so as to be unwatchable, but there are far better ways to spend your idle moments.

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'Suicide experts' whine over 'Wrist Cutters'

Who would have ever imagined that there are whiny "suicide experts" out there?

Suicide Experts Upset About Film Ads

Officials at a top US suicide prevention group are failing to see the funny side of billboard ads for a new comedy that show people killing themselves.

Acclaimed indie movie "Wristcutters: A Love Story" follows a group of people who have taken their own lives, as they take a trip through purgatory.

The film, starring Patrick Fugit and Shannyn Sossamon, has won a handful of top indie film prizes in America, but the director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is not a fan of the film, or its marketing campaign.

In a letter to producers, Robert Gebbia says, "You don't see people making fun of other causes of death, but you see it with suicide and mental illness."

But producer Courtney Solomon isn't planning to pull the ad campaign, stating, "The movie's message is that love is better than suicide. Our job is to get people into the theatre in a way that's accessible to them. There are many different ways to skin a cat. God forbid someone was considering committing suicide. This film may change their opinion."

And if people change their minds about committing suicide, how will Mr. Gebbia make a living? No wonder he's upset!

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Richard Jeni dead at 49

Comedian Richard Jeni, who appeared frequently on the "Tonight" show and headlined a number of HBO comedy specials, died Saturday, March 11, 2006, in Los Angeles in what appeared to be a suicide; he was 49.

Jeni died of a gunshot wound to the head, an hour after police responded to a 911 call from the comedian's girlfriend and he was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Hospital. A final confirmation of suicide was still pending Monday morning, after further investigation of the incident and an autopsy.

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