Underrated holiday film

Jingle All the Way
Starring: Arnold Schwartzenegger, Phil Hartman, Sindbad, Rita Wilson, Robert Conrad, Jake Lloyd, and Jim Belushi
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Howard (Schwartzenegger) feels guilty for having neglected his son, Jamie(Lloyd), in favor of work. In an attempt to make it up to him, he vows to get any gift Jamie wants for Christmas... and Jamie asks for a Turbo Man action figure. On Christmas Eve, Howard goes in search of the toy, only to discover that it's the hottest gift of the season, and EVERY parent in town seems to be looking for one, and no stores have any in stock. What follows is a quest that makes Frodo's trip to Mordor look like a walk on the beach.


As a film mocking the obsession we have in American with making up for our shortcomings in our relationships by going overboard on gift-giving during Christmas, this film succeeds admirably. It also serves as a nice bit of commentary on the rampant commercialism during the Christmas season.

It's a little less successful as a comedy. I love the way the movie keeps escalating and the way the situaitons Howard finds himself in trying to get a Turbo Man doll get more and more absurd, but I find virtually every character in the film more annoying than amusing. The exception is Wilson, who is funny and sympathetic as Howard's wife who has to fend off advances from her sleazy neighbor (Hartman) while Howard searches to the toy.

The film's lead, Schwartzenegger, is passable in the part of the ever-increasingly crazed Howard, but he did a far better job in "Kindergarten Cop" and even "Twins" than he does here.

Still, the film offers some nice chuckles. It may not be the best of Christmas movies, but it's passable. (Oh, and make sure sure you watch all the way to the end of the final credits. There's a bit more of the film after them.)

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The Man-Baby is Back!

Seems like lawyers are still ripping off a Man-Baby whose sensitive soul has been wounded by the existence of "Tintin in The Congo." Here's the latest on a world-class dimwit from the Telegraph.

Tintin 'to be sued' for Congo book

By Henry Samuel in Paris
Published: 10:01PM BST 01 Sep 2009

A Congolese accountant is to launch a lawsuit in France against Tintin for racism, accusing judges in the cartoon hero's native Belgium of trying to bury his case to protect a "national symbol".

Bienvenu Mbutu Mondondo, 41, is taking legal action claiming Hergé's controversial Tintin In The Congo is propaganda for colonialism and amounts to "racism and xenophobia".

"Tintin's little (black) helper is seen as stupid and without qualities. It makes people think that blacks have not evolved," he said.

Mr. Mbutu Mondondo launched a case in Belgium two years ago for symbolic damages of one euro from Tintin's Belgian publishers Moulinsart, and demanded the book be withdrawn from the market.

But since then his lawyer, Claude Ndjakanyi, said there had been no response from Belgian justice. "Our request to access the dossier was judged premature even though the investigation has been running for two years," he said.

Mr Ndjakanyi claimed the silence was politically motivated: "It's the symbol of Belgium that is under attack." The lawyer said he would launch parallel proceedings in France and go "all the way to the European Court of Human Rights if necessary".

In 2007, British race watchdogs pulled the book from children's shelves and attacked the Tintin cartoons for making black Africans "look like monkeys and talk like imbeciles".

Two weeks ago the work was removed from the shelves of Brooklyn's municipal library following a complaint from a reader that it "had illustrations that were racially offensive and inappropriate for children".

Tintin and his dog Snowy are a rare unifying symbol in Belgium – a divided nation where postcolonial guilt over Belgian's record in the Congo still runs high.

The Congo remained a Belgian colony until 1960 and between 1885 and 1908 millions of Congolese are thought to have died under the brutal rule of Belgium's King Leopold II.

Georges Remi, the Tintin cartoonist who worked under the Hergé pen-name, reworked the book in 1946 to remove references to Congo as Belgian colony.

But it still contained images such as a black woman bowing to Tintin and saying: "White man very great White mister is big juju man!" Moulinsart, Tintin's publishers, argued that the whole row was "silly" and that book must be seen in its historical context: "To read in the 21st century a Tintin album dating back to 1931 requires a minimum of intellectual honesty," it said. "If one applied the 'politically correct' filter to great artists or writers, we could no longer publish certain novels of Balzac, Jules Verne, or even some Shakespeare plays."

Mr Ndjakanyi said this argument did not wash. "When the album was written there was no legal disposition incriminating racism. In 2009 there is. This isn't about history but the law."

And it's probably also about the big fat bank account that Ndjakanyi is building up by exploiting the Man-Baby's mental defects.

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'Bruno' was surprisingly boring

Bruno (2009)
Starring: Sasha Baron Cohen and Gustaf Hammerstein
Director: Larry Charles
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

I went to see "Bruno" expecting it to be stupid and gross. I did not expect it to be boring.


The problem with the movie is exactly what I feared: The central character, the cartoonishly flaboyantly and obnoxiously homosexual fashion reporter Bruno, is simply too much of a cartoon to support a full movie. Like the worst of the movies based on successful Saturday Night Live bits, "Bruno" is an illustration that sketch comedy should generally speaking remain short-form. However, the filmmakers did realize this and they attempted to mitigate the problem by making a movie that is, essentially, an unconnected series of vinettes organzied around a storyline that sees a disgraced Bruno trying to hang onto what little media spotlight he has by trying to become a celebrity who is famous for being famous.

There are some genuinely funny bits in the film, but they are too few and too far between. Plus, you've already seen the punchlines for most of them if you've seen any "Bruno" commercials.

The "adopt-a-baby and use it for media attention" storyline and surrounding bits are funny, as is Bruno's attempts to "go straight" and the end credits sequence, but most of the rest of the film feels forced.

Worse, Bruno is a repulsive character, not just because he is sexually obsessed to a demented degree, but because he is mean-spirited and stupid. Borat at least had the saving grace of not being a vicious jackass. I spent most of my time watching this movie, wincing with embarrassment on behalf of Bruno because of his antics and meanness.

I recommend skipping this film, or at least waiting for the DVD release so you can rent it for cheap. It simply isn't good enough to pay even matinee prices for.

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Karl Malden dead at 97

Karl Malden, the Academy Award-winning actor whose intelligent characterizations on stage and screen made him a star despite his plain looks, died Wednesday, his family said. He was 97.

Malden died of natural causes surrounded by his family at his Brentwood home, they told the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences. He served as the academy's president from 1989-92.

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Michael Jackson dead at 50

Pop star Michael Jackson has died after suffering a heart attack, it has been reported. Los Angeles Fire Department paramedics had rushed to the singer's home near Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles, CA, after receiving a 911 call. He was rushed to a hospital, but he had already passed away.

The cause of Jackson's death was reportedly an overdose of prescription drugs, which he had obtained legally from his doctor.

Jackson was living in Los Angeles while rehearsing a series of 50 sold-out shows in London, the LA Times has reported. The tour was to have been his comeback following his acquittal on charges of child sexual abuse.

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Dropping even the pretense of an independent media

ABC is going to be broadcasting prime-time "news" from the White House, all about the Obama plan for health care. Supposedly, viewpoints other than those put forth by our Glorious Leader will provided by everyday citizens in attendence at a "town-hall style" event where Our Glorious Leader will take uncensored, unedited questions.

When the Republicans pointed out that a "news broadcast" in an environment dictated and controlled by Our Glorious Leader's press office and security staff, ABCNews' Senior Vice President Kerry Smith offered this very disingenious response:

"ABCNEWS alone will select those who will be in the audience asking questions of the president. Like any programs we broadcast, ABC News will have complete editorial control. To suggest otherwise is quite unfair to both our journalists and our audience."

Those out there who think for yourselves will be wondering HOW ABC is going to select who will be in the audience and who will ge to ask questions given that the Secret Service (or anyone really) can deny anyone access to the environment around our Glorious Leader by labeling them a security risk. ABC News has NO control over ANYTHING within the White House. To claim otherwise is an insult to the intelligence of the American people.

It's tragic that we no longer have a truly independent media in this country. One more half step, and we will have an oligarchical dictatorship.

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David Carradine dead at 72

David Carradine, best known for his leading role of Kwai Chang Caine on TV's "Kung Fu" in the 1970s, died Wednesday in Bangkok, where he was shooting a film, his manager confirmed Thursday. He was 72.

According to manager Chuck Binder, the movie's producer went to Carradine's hotel room and found that he had passed away. Binder told Fox News the death is "shocking and sad. He was full of life, always wanting to work ... a great person."

Other reports offer more details and more lacivious accounts that indicate that Carradine died from aphyxiation during a sex game gone wrong. Some truly insane reports make the claim that he was murdered by Ninjas trying to protect their martial arts secrets. (No, I'm not making that up.)

Married five times and divorced four, he is survived by his widow, Annie Bierman, whom he married in 2004.



(On a personal note... while Carradine was passing away, I was probably writing the entry for the Carradine-starring turkey "Future Force" for 150 Movies You Should Die Before You See, my forthcoming book. Coincidences are funny things.)

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