'Explorer Woman Ray' is two-parter that starts strong, but fades fast

In this two-part direct-to-video animated series, a pair of twin sisters join up with adventuring archelologist Ray. In the process, they avenge dead parents and keep a powerful, ancient South American treasure from falling into the hands of those who would use it for evil.

The first half of this hour-long (the first episode) tape is pretty entertaining. It's got good animation, nice Indiana Jones-like adventuring, and a nice conflict between Ray and her overbearing, blondhaired arch-nemesis. The second half (the second episode), unfortunately, shows a sharp drop in animation quality. There's more action and drama than in the first half, but the bad animation weighs it down, and it manages to pull the whole package down from what could have been a Six Rating to a Four.

(From the Inappropriate Thought Department: I keep wanting to pronounce the name of the busty lead character in a fashion with the old racist jokes involving "flied lice." :) )

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'Three Amigos' is a true comedy classic

Three Amigos! (1986)
Starring: Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Martin Short, Patrice Martinez, Alfonso Arau, and Tony Plano
Director: John Landis
Steve's Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When three fading stars of the silent picture era (Martin, Chase, and Short) receive a request to travel to a Mexican village in the personas of their most famous characters--western heroes "The Three Amigos"--they jump at the chance. Little do they know that the villagers don't think they're hiring three worn-out hams, but that they believe they're hiring gun-toting heroes that will drive away El Gaupo (Arau) and his gang of banditos who have been terrorizing them.

"Three Amigos!" is a fun romp, with plenty of physical comedy, fun dialogue, and characters that are funny because they are either too natty or simply stupid. The movie occasionally strays a little bit too far into utter silliness, but it is overall well-crafted with some great gags. The plot--shleps who are thrust into positions of great responsibility and danger due to a mistake, rise to become the heroes they were mistaken for--is a well-worn one, but it has rarely been done so well as in "Three Amigos!"

Out of the three stars, it is obvious even here that Martin is the most talented... and almost 20 years later, he's the only who isn't a has-been like the character he portrays in the film. Martin is extremely funny both when doing physical comedy and delivering funny lines. Martin is given a run for his money by Arau and Plano, who are hilarious as the lead bandits, who outshine stars Chase and Short with their comedic exchanges.

"Three Amigos!" is a comedy classic despite its few flaws, so I recommend it highly.





(And happy Cinco de Mayo!)

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'Hide and Seek' can remain undiscovered

Hide and Seek (2005)
Starring: Robert DeNiro and Dakota Fanning
Director: John Polson
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Robert DeNiro plays a psychiatrist whose wife commits suicide one night, apparently completely out of the blue. His young daughter (Fanning) is deeply traumatized by the event, so the widower relocates her and himself to an isolated country house so they can both get a fresh start. Soon after they arrive, the daughter's behavior becomes increasingly irratic. Things grow ever worse when she picks up an invisible friend named Charlie... and things get really and Charlie starts doing destructive and violent things.


I've written that capsule summary before, for a different movie. For several different movies, in fact. And most of the times I've written that summary, it's been for a movie that started out promising but fell apart in the end.

And, boy, does "Hide and Seek" fall apart at the end. It starts strong, it builds, it looks like it might make it... and then in the final act it simply collapses.

"Hide and Seek" is another entry in the ongoing pagent of thrillers with twist-endings that I'm sure the writers and directors think are oh-so-clever, but which really are oh-so-stupid and oh-so-predictable. In the case of "Hide and Seek," the twist-ending which is supposed to be oh-so-clever falls completely flat because a) it could only occur in a world where EVERYONE has the intelligence of fruit flies, b) it drags on and on and on and on, and c) unless the secret of the twist-ending was already a staple of life in the family's household before the death of the wife [which the movie implies that it was not], the character played by Fanning is old enough that she would have had a different approach to dealing with her father and Charlie than she does in the movie (but that circles back to the 'characters are dumb as fruit-flies' problem).

"Hide and Seek" is another thriller with supernatural overtones that would have been much, much better if the filmmakers had recognized that just because you think you're clever doesn't mean you are. It could certainly have benefitted from another draft or two by someone who can actually tell a decent twist-ending story. As it is, a campfire story like "The Hook" is more satisfying.

(I will give Dakota Fanning high marks for being a creepy little kid. She does a great job, and she's worth a full Tomato. Deniro, unfortunately, overacts something fierce.)

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'Golden Age Sandman' is comics history,but it still disappointed

Golden Age Sandman Archives, Vol. 1 (DC Comics, 2004)
Writer: Gardner Fox, Ogden Whitney, et.al.
Artists: Bert Christman, Creig Flessel, et.al.
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

From the first time I saw him in an issue of "Justice League of America" (during one of those way cool crossovers between Earth One and Earth Two that were an annual tradition in that title), I had all sorts of ideas for the Golden Age Sandman. There was just something about his look I liked. I wanted to see more of him, and I made up my own stories. I even submitted a couple story proposals to DC Comics in the early 1990s, but they were rejected.

When the Sandman was revived in "Sandman Mystery Theater", I followed the title until the very end. I was disappointed that it didn't have the feel of the old-time movies from the 1930s and 1940s, but it was decent enough. I also didn't quite like the way Wesley Dodds was portrayed, but mostly because he didn't fit with how I'd imagined he should be.

But, the Sandman still remained a visual favorite of mine, so when I saw that DC had released the earliest tales as part of their Archive Edition series, I had to get it.


Unfortunately, the Golden Age Sandman is still better in my imagination than he's ever been in print.

The tales presented in this hardbound book are interesting historical artifacts as far as the development of the comic book medium goes, but they really are not all that good. They have the choppiness of a newspaper strip that was a frequent weakness of early comics, and they feature artwork which is only slightly better than the norm of the day. Worse, the recycling and swiping of panels that artists did to keep their deadlines is embarrassingly evident in several stories.

All that said, the stories are better than a lot of those found in comics from the early 1940s, and the reprinted covers are very cool.

I don't regret buying the book, but it's hard for me to recommend to others unless you're a Big Time Fan of early Golden Age comics. AS much as I remain enamoured by the look of the Golden Age Sandman, this material simply doesn't warrant the upscale format it's presented in... nor the $50 price tag.

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Pauly Shore is dead, but funnier than ever

Pauly Shore is Dead (2003)
Starring: Pauly Shore, Todd Bridges, and a host of other known faces
Director: Pauly Shore
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

With his career beyond hope of salvage, comedian Pauly Shore decides to fake his own death since, as his guardian angel--Sam Kinison--tells him, "it's better to be a dead genius than a live idiot." And, sure enough, once he is believed dead, Pauley goes from entertainment industry pariah to highly praised genius who everyone suddenly misses.


"Pauly Shore is Dead" is a comedic and bitter look at the fickleness of the public and the entertainment industry and a commentary on how quickly fortunes turn for those in the spotlight. Written, directed, produced, and starring Shore as himself, it is a venomous toward just about everyone, including Pauly Shore's own fans, who are represented by a family of shack-dwelling retards.

The film's biggest weakness is that it suffers from a voice problem. In many parts of the film, it's clear that we are watching performers doing comedy--even self-mocking comedy. At other times, the film takes on a documentary feel, like "This is Spinal Tap" or "Drop Dead Gorgeous." This lack of focus keeps viewers from getting involved with the simple story of the film, so while it's hard not to feel sympathetic toward someone who only wants to be liked, there isn't enough cohesion for the viewer to get involved with Pauly until the film's almost over. (And, having had a brief taste of fame myself, I can perhaps relate to where Shore is coming from than most people... and even *I* was not feeling particularly interested for most of the film.)

I get a sense that maybe Shore has a future as a filmmaker. I think he'd do well trying his hand at a true faux documentary (like "Best of Show" or "A Mighty Wind" or the two aforementioned films). "Pauly Shore is Dead" was at its best when it had that sort of feel to it, and it was at its weakest when it strayed into obviously staged bits (even if one of the funniest moments in the film was of that category... when Pauly meets Rico Suave who has been reduced to selling oranges on a highway overpass).

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Akira, Animated Feature Film (1988)
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

In a dark future, Japanese youth gangs ride around on motorcycles and scream each other's names in high-pitched voices. Meanwhile, military men do McGruff the Crime Dog imitations. Oh, and pale psychics cause freaky things to happen and inanimate objects to attack, and some youth gang member gets amazing powers that may destroy all of Japan.

Yes... it's the storyline of "Akira", the most overrated Japanese cartoon ever. I saw it in the movie theatre when it was first released in the US, and it put me off the whole manga/anime thing for several years thereafter. "If THAT was the best, then what sort of crap must the other material be?" I thought. Thankfully, I discovered the works of Kosuke Fujishima, Masamune Shirow and Rumiko Takahashi, material that truly *is* among the best that Japanese pop culture had to offer.


"Akira" does have some impressive animation, but the story and script are very lacking. I really have no idea why people were so impressed with this badly put together mess.

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A character witness of low character

I think the spirit of Perrry Mason must have been in the court room.



From Ananova.com....

Character witness goes to prison

A Chilean woman giving evidence for a friend charged with drug-dealing ended up in prison after admitting it was her all along.

Yamilet Contreras was supposed to be a character witness for her friend, Guillermina C, in court, Las Ultimas Noticias reports.

But Contreras, 43, from Arica, got nervous on the witness stand and ended up contradicting herself repeatedly.

In the end she confessed that the cocaine found with Guillermina C, also 43, actually belonged to her.

Contreras went straight from the witness stand to prison and has been charged with drug dealing and perjury.

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